Judge Roy Moore, the Republican nominee for Senate in Alabama, speaks at a campaign event in Fairhope, Alabama, on Dec. 5, one week before the special Senate election. (Dan Anderson/Zuma Press/TNS)

Elliot: Moore is less & other foibles


President Trump officially backs Roy Moore, who, in addition to sexual-abuse allegations, has made controversial slavery comments.

By Beau Elliot

On the all-night train, there is nothing but darkness outside. That’s why it’s called the all-night train, Einstein. Dh-bum dh-bem, dh-bum dh-bem. Repeat. Darkness, darkness. Dh-bum dh-bem, dh-bum dh-bem.

Now that the Trumpster has come out of the closet (no, not that closet; there’s more than one closet; in fact, some physicists predict that there are an infinite number of closets in the universe, probably in parallel strings, and those owned by human beings haven’t been straightened up and cleaned out in years).

Meanwhile, so now that the Trumpster has overtly backed an accused pedophile for an Alabama seat in the Senate — and the RNC has followed his lead with money, money, money in a tight, contentious race — it’s not a bit difficult to discern what drives him and a section of the GOP. And it has nothing to do with principles or morality.

But then, so little does these days. Some days, huh? Maybe that should be some daze.

RELATED: In Their Own Words: President Trump distances himself from Roy Moore

Dazed would be the word to describe the Alabama Senate race. The allegations from women, who contend that GOP candidate Roy Moore groped and molested them when they were teenagers, have continued to pile up in recent weeks. And Moore’s denials have also continued to pile up.

These actions, the accusers allege, occurred when Moore was a prosecutor in the DA’s office. You know, officer of the court, defender of the law, and all that. Moore also, according to the allegations, cruised the malls in search of new teenage girls. Members of the DA’s office at the time regarded his behavior as odd, according to reports. And he was banned from going to one mall because of his alleged cruising. Again, according to reports.

Those are not the only, shall we say, “curious” items in Moore’s “curious” résumé. He believes, according to what he has said, that many of today’s problems can be traced to giving women the right to vote. No word yet from the former judge (removed from the bench twice) on what problems can be traced to giving men the right to vote.

He also, for the record, believes Muslims should not be allowed to serve in Congress and wants to make homosexuality illegal.

And slavery. Moore believes, apparently, given his words, that the slavery era was a great time for the U.S.: “I think it was great at the time when families were united — even though we had slavery … Our families were strong, our country had a direction.”

RELATED: Helton: Fighting sexual violence should be everyone’s fight

Well, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the slavery era was not a great time for the slaves, and their families were not united. In fact, their families were routinely ripped apart, with children and men and women being put on the auction block. “Our country had a direction,” huh? Yeah. That direction led inexorably to the Civil War.

Great times.

That’s the man the Trumpster wants in the Senate to help him pass his agenda, such as it is. There the Trumpster was, stumping with some of his might, speaking at a rally (kind of sing-songy, actually), taping robo calls for Alabama voters.

I especially like the part about robo calls. I’ve long believed that the Trumpster was part bot. I mean, all those rapid-fire tweets were the first giveaway.

And the republic will survive, I suppose. I mean, it survived the Civil War. More or less. Fits and starts. Bumps and potholes. One tip-toe forward, two long strides back. Riding in the tunnel of history.

On the all-night train, there is nothing but darkness outside. That’s why it’s called the all-night train, Einstein. Dh-bum dh-bem, dh-bum dh-bem. Repeat. Darkness, darkness. Dh-bum dh-bem dh-bum dh-bem.

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