Fresco the elf is seen at Bread Garden in Iowa City on Monday, Dec. 4, 2017. The Iowa City Downtown District has organized an elf scavenger hunt at downtown businesses. (Nick Rohlman/The Daily Iowan)

Elliot: Have a merry tax cut

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In the war on Christmas with tax cuts and jobs, jobs and the war on taxes, do we take any prisoners?

By Beau Elliot

beauelliot@gmail.com

So, Merry Christmas.

Yeah, I know, the holiday is a few weeks away or so. Not that you could tell with all the city’s Christmas lights up everywhere and the abominable excuse for music that make up the Christmas song canon oozing through the air.

Also, I say Merry Christmas because apparently, there’s a war on Christmas going on. At least that’s what the conservative side of things claim, and they wouldn’t indulge in fake news, would they?

The Christmas war has extended to the White House, where the Emperor of Fake continues to take up the cause and urges all to join him. (If you do, make sure you have a good attorney handy.)

The Trumpster the other day said, “I told you that we would be saying Merry Christmas again, right?”

Apparently contending that his predecessor had somehow ignored the traditional greeting while in the White House.

Ah, war. Well, except that, as NPR has reported, former President Barack Obama used the words “Merry Christmas” to salute the season all eight years he was in office.

Yep. On Christmas Eve 2016, “Merry Christmas, everybody.” In 2015, “Merry Christmas, and happy holidays to you and yours.” In 2014, “Have a Merry Christmas.” And so forth and so on.

Apparently, “Merry Christmas” as a greeting never left the White House, and once again, the Trumpster didn’t know what he was talking about. Of course, the metric tonnage of the Trumpster’s not knowing what he is talking about could sink all the navies of the world. (And may yet.)

Meanwhile, the Republicans are promising us tax cuts for Christmas, which would, among other things, bring billions of corporate off-shore dollars into the States, creating growth and jobs.

Hmm.

In 2004 (that would be during the George W. Bush administration, for those of you who still keep track of such things at home), the U.S. government offered a tax holiday for U.S. corporations to bring their billions off-shore to the States.

You know the drill: Drill, baby, drill.

No. Not that drill. We’re already drilling, baby, drilling. Or fracking, baby, fracking. That’s why the world is awash in petroleum and the U.S. has supplanted Russia as the world’s No. 1 producer of natural gas (since 2009). In 2015, the U.S. unseated Russia as the No. 1 producer of oil and is  natural gas. The U.S. is also the No. 1 producer of unnatural gas, thanks to the Trumpster opening his mouth and tweeting his Twits.

You know this drill: Bring the off-shore corporate billions to the Motherland (or is it Fatherland now?), and beautiful gardens will spring up, sprouting jobs, jobs, jobs, and even more jobs. You’d’ve thought they were going to clone Steve.

So how did that work out, back there in the Dark Ages of 2004? you wonder. Lots of jobs, right?

Not so fast, Bucky Boy or Girl. Basically, the corporations brought the billions to the Mainland and used them to buy back some stock and to enrich their investors. Jobs? Jobs? Ha-ha. (That’s Republican humor. It also runs to knock-knock jokes and seasoned with Why did the chicken cross the road? To get a tax cut. Yeah, me, too.)

So now we have a brand-new tax overhaul, courtesy of the GOP, and it, too, lowers corporate tax rates so they’ll bring those off-shore billions on-shore to the U.S. Thus creating jobs, jobs, jobs.

You’d have to be an aficionado of the Tooth Fairy to believe corporations are going to use those billions to create more jobs. Just given their history.

Well, goo goo ga joob, as Lennon might say. (If he ever gets together with Groucho Marx, look out.)

Or as the Post reports, Bruce Bartlett, Reagan’s economic adviser who helped write Reagan’s famouse tax cuts, says, “I helped create the GOP tax myth. Trump is wrong: Tax cuts don’t equal growth.”

Merry Christmas.

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