ARIES (March 21-April 19): Emotional matters are best dealt
with swiftly. Don’t let situations fester or create a problem between you and someone you deal with daily. Having a plan and offering suggestions will help you resolve issues and turn a negative situation into a positive.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t take on more than you can
handle trying to impress someone. It’s best to accept only the challenges you believe you can complete in the allotted time frame. Quality will outshine quantity.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Put greater emphasis on
networking, maintaining structure and discipline in your life, and avoiding overspending. Don’t make promises you don’t want to honor. Be true to yourself as well as to those you deal with; you will excel.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your experience coupled with your
astute intuition will help you make wise choices. Don’t let anyone interfere or take over. You stand a better chance if you are a leader instead of a follower. Represent your best interests.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Avoid joint ventures. Poor
information along with being used by someone who is taking advantage of your generosity will be apparent. Take your time, and don’t feel
the need to commit to anything until you have an ironclad contract.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You’ll learn a lot if you are
willing to experiment and try new things, but before you jump in with both feet, ask questions and get the facts. Someone may not be the best influence on you. Choose your comrades carefully.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Listen carefully. Someone will
use emotional tactics to manipulate a situation. Dealing with children, a friend, or lover will require an astute mind and an ability to say “no” if necessary. Distance yourself from bad habits or influences.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Contribute more to ensure that
you get the most in return. Sharing information and responsibilities will help bring you closer to someone who counts in your life. Romance will enhance your personal life.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Emotional manipulation is
apparent. Don’t trust what others say they will do. You can think big, but when it comes to putting your plans into motion, take baby steps that will not lead to debt or costly mistakes.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your creative imagination will
encourage you to spend more time developing something you enjoy. Share your plans with someone you love, and it will lead to a celebration that will encourage you to work harder and do better.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Someone will not have your best
interests at heart. Question anyone who tries to pressure you with a deal that lacks substance and facts to back up the premise. Do your own thing. Avoid bad habits and influences.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Keep your secrets or personal
information locked up. If you share with someone who is being overly friendly, an ulterior motive is likely behind all the interest. Opt to work on domestic, romantic, and physical-appearance improvements.
30 Items from My House Confusable with Complicated Sexual Maneuvers
1. A Three-Hole Punch
2. A Stuffed Aardvark
3. A Rug Gripper Deluxe
4. Alpine Ear Plugs
5. An Electric Tea Kettle
6. A Ruby Red Chin Strap
7. A Viking Helmet
8. A Portuguese Double-Lever Corker
9. A Rusty Melon Baller
10. Grease in the Coffee Can
11. A Tilt ‘n Swivel Charger
12. A Vegan Coinpurse
13. A Cord Bundler
14. Sticky Safety Scissors
15. A Full DVR
16. A Chocolate Recliner
17. A Multispeed Juicer
18. Elephant Bookends
19. A Widemouth Snifter
20. The Loose Puzzle Piece
21. A Dusty Ceiling
22. A Plush Goomba
23. The Sleeping Cat/The Lazy Dog
24. A Broken Lawnmower
25. An Ice Maker
26. A French Press
27. A Freestanding Elliptical
28. Grandma’s Hummels
29. A Five-in-One Shower Nozzle
30. Three Captive Hobos
Andrew R. Juhl thanks his friends for contributing to today’s Ledge.