HOROSCOPES
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Communication followed by taking action will lead to good decisions. Not everyone will agree with you, but if you follow your heart and do what’s best for you, everything will turn out well in the end. Don’t get angry; get moving.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Stay focused on what’s expected of you. Showing how reliable you are will help you avoid complaints. Be innovative as well as productive, and it will lead to personal gains. A physical change will make you feel good.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Share your thoughts, and show compassion to those less fortunate than you. It’s not what you have, it’s what you offer that will make you a better person. Reach out and listen; you will learn through the experiences of others.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Learn from mistakes, and you will find it easier to move forward. The physical work you put in to make personal improvements or to help your community benefit will pay off and put you in a good position for advancement.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Partnering, discussing, and working toward a common goal with people who share your vision will turn out remarkably well. Aim to please, and you will be given the same in return. Strive for equality, and reach for the stars.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t stop when you have a lot to accomplish. Do your best to get things done without getting involved in gossip or discussions that have nothing to do with your responsibilities. The rewards will be yours if you are efficient and timely.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Travel plans should be made. Whether it’s a business or pleasure trip, it will lead to personal or professional opportunities. Expand your mind, and you’ll discover new ways to address old issues. Speak from the heart, and good things will happen.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Look over your investments, and consider how to capture your gains and cut your losses. Take a different approach to the way you handle your financial, medical, and legal matters. An important relationship will need nurturing.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Communicate, get together, and share new possibilities. Innovation will help you move forward, but before you take a leap of faith, be sure to double-check the facts you’ve received from an outside source. Choose safety over sorrow.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Join forces with someone you have worked with in the past or who has something he or she can teach you that will help secure your future income or position. Clear a space to work on a home-business endeavor.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Socialize, network, or do more with social media — you will get your word and your vision out into the mainstream. There is money to be made if you market what you have to offer. Joint ventures look promising.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Discuss problems openly and honestly, and it will alleviate your making a mistake. Knowing all the gritty details before you enter into something will help you counter any upcoming challenges before they consume you. Romance is highlighted.
THE LEDGE
I just made a pot of coffee so strong that…
· it’s putting chests on my hair.
· it just suffered a major setback with quiet dignity.
· it’s going toe-to-joe against The Rock in his next movie.
· the Colombian government just installed a consulate in my kitchen.
· it just lifted a fallen tree off the broken leg of a missing Boy Scout.
· if you dunk your doughnut in it, the doughnut comes back out as bagel.
· it … it … ABSORBED my Flintstones chewable vitamins. Now it’s TEN MILLION TIMES STRONGER … AND GROWING.
· it can only be sweetened by sugar grown in the Fields of Elysium, and it will only accept half & half that was produced by Bovinitus, the trickster god of cows.
· it simply WALKED into Mordor.
· I just got a call from Walter White about a “business opportunity.”
· Zod kneels before it.
· its hair just turned bright yellow and started glowing. Oh, did I not mention it has hair?
· Maxwell House just asked me to sign a nonproliferation treaty.
Andrew R. Juhl thanks his friends for contributing to today’s Ledge.
