The Daily Break (06/12/17)

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HOROSCOPES

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Emotions will lead to poor choices; don’t
act on impulse. Consider every aspect of a situation before you make a
move. Your reputation or status may be at risk if you make a move
based on anger or assumptions.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You can bank on your ability to bring
quality to everything you do. Your insight and ability to be detailed
and precise will help you persuade others to support you. Do your best
to recruit others to participate in your plans.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your ability to chitchat will help you draw
attention. Make sure you have your facts straight and your
presentation prepared. Making a mistake or sending a misleading signal
will stand between you and your goal.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Whether it’s taking action yourself or
responding to someone else’s actions, think twice before being
impulsive. Stick to what you know you can handle emotionally,
financially, and physically. If you let someone pressure you, it will
set you back.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Change has to be for the right reason. Don’t
let emotional incidents push you in a direction that may not be good
for you. Talk matters over, and consider whether you are asking for or
giving up too much.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Set guidelines and goals to ensure that you
achieve what you set out to do. Precision and detail, coupled with
desire and a well-thought-out plan, will encourage you to learn as you
go and prosper from your accomplishments.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Use your intelligence to avoid trouble
festering at home. Logical suggestions coupled with the willingness to
compromise will keep the peace, allowing you to carry on with the
things you enjoy doing most. Rely on your experiences. Observe and
learn.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You’ll feel the urge to travel, but don’t
overload your schedule, or you’ll end up spending more time in between
the places you really want to be. Set up fewer destinations, and share
your time with someone you love.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Be on guard. Someone you work alongside
will cause problems for you. Don’t make assumptions or offer personal
information that might be damaging. Focus on truth, doing a good job,
and avoiding gossip and meddling.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t feel the need to make changes just
because someone else does. Lie low, and see how things turn out before
you consider what to do next. Offer love and affection instead of
criticism or opposition.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Act on your instincts. Let your feelings
flow, and you will bring about positive change. Engage in
opportunities that will encourage you to save for something that will
add to your home and comfort. Protect your health.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Team up with someone you know you can count
on. Share your ideas; suggestions you receive will help you turn your
dream into a reality. Put some muscle and discipline behind your
plans, and good things will happen.


THE LEDGE

It’s so hot that…

·   Hell now has better odds than Iowa when betting on snowballs.

·   I took a hot shower just to cool off.

·   Your only options are hot yoga and hotter yoga.

·   I almost called my ex, just to be around something shady.

·   I lost cup of sweat drinking an ounce of Gatorade.

·   I hailed a taxi, and three people died.

·   The Pentacrest squirrels won’t stop blowing on their nuts.

·   Dali’s *The Persistence of Memory* could be confused as a still life.

·   All cars with leather interior are now considered lethal weapons.

·   Iowa is now the nation’s largest producer of popped corn.

·   People have resorted to dressing as trees and going to dog parks.

·   My wife’s feet are FINALLY warm at night.

·   A dip in the Iowa River near the IMU is starting to sound like a
viable option.

·   Women on campus are being forced to wear clothes that BARELY COVER THEM.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks his friends for contributing to today’s Ledge.


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