By Beau Elliot
So it’s been a marvelous few weeks recently, if you’re into April imitating March, which imitated February, which imitated April, which culminated in clams falling from the sky. In their shells. Which is the only way to go if you’re a clam, apparently.
And then there was politics, which imitated Dada. Unless, of course, it was the other way around. So many things these days are the other way around. You notice?
There was Sen. Chuck Grassley, our own folksy D.C. guy. In the movie, he’ll be played by Jimmy Stewart, back from the dead. It’ll be type-casting. Here’s Grassley on the Trumpster’s Syrian missile strike, in, yes, his own words:
“For the good reason of supporting international law against chemical warfare by hit at Syria he also showed detractors he not Putin puppet GET IT.”
Well, outside of a missing verb and punctuation and syntax, it does demonstrate Grassley’s overalls approach to the world in general. And we do mean overalls.
(Meanwhile, even Hitler didn’t stoop to level of allowing garbage strikes, an anonymous White House source said about sending in U.S. troops to end a garbage strike in Fairbanks, Alaska. Who knew the fair residents of Fairbanks, Alaska, refused to make garbage? How un-American. Probably un-German, too.)
Grassley, in all his folksiness, would prefer we don’t remember that he, along with most of the rest of Congress, refused to allow then-President Barack Obama to do pretty much what the Cauliflower just did in Syria.
Yes, but the Trumpster has a plan for Syria, Republicans contend. Obama didn’t, they contend. Of course, they also believe Obamacare outlawed the Tooth Fairy.
(Meanwhile, an anonymous White House source said even Genghis Khan didn’t stoop to the level of allowing kindergartners to refuse to take naps, in reaction to U.S. troops being sent in to arrest kindergartners striking against nap time to protest the Trumpster’s Jello-salad lunch cuts in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. No word yet on how Genghis Khan knew the German word “kindergarten.”)
Then Citizen-at-Large Trumpster, it should be remembered, posited (if that’s the word) in 2013 Obama needed congressional approval before striking Syria with missiles. Which Obama tried to get, to no avail but plenty of veils. Congressional-type people, using the word loosely, apparently were more interested in getting re-elected than in teaching Bashar al-Assad a lesson, if indeed he was interested in learning lessons. Recent history teaches us that Assad was more interested in Russia saving a portion of his anatomy we don’t mention in polite circles (and we do circle, politely).
Sen. Joni Ernst, R-Iowa, not to be left out of the action, noted “Unlike the Obama administration, the Trump administration is showing global leadership.”
By “global leadership,” we’re guessing she means missiles.
(Meanwhile, an anonymous White House source said even the Khmer Rouge wouldn’t have stooped to allowing pre-K children to wear hoods while searching for grass to eat after a U.S. Special Forces unit attacked a daycare in Bellevue, Washington, in which the children wore hoodies during playtime. The anonymous source said the children had been mistaken for Muslims.)