The independent newspaper of the University of Iowa community since 1868

The Daily Iowan

The independent newspaper of the University of Iowa community since 1868

The Daily Iowan

The independent newspaper of the University of Iowa community since 1868

The Daily Iowan

Elliot: Driverless is all the rage

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By Beau Elliot

[email protected]

So I heard, through my sources, that Iowa City will become a site for testing driverless cars. And I just had to laugh.

As any local pedestrian can tell you, Iowa City has been the home of driverless cars for years. Decades, even.Of course, even worse than the driverless cars are those driven by Illinois drivers. The only reason Iowa City doesn’t suffer a tsunami of pedestrian fatalities is that local pedestrians have achieved a level of nimbleness that awes even female gymnasts. And you have to admit, one has to attain Ninja nimble to awe female gymnasts. Talk about nimble skeptics.

My sources? Public radio, which has made flying under the pop-culture radar an art. Or something. Public radio talks to me all the time, especially during pledge drives.

Well, at least it’s not driverless.

Speaking of driverless, the Fake-News-in-Chief is still in the West Wing, and that certainly calls for the producers and writers of the iconic TV show to make a sequel to “The West Wing.” Talk about a wealth of material these days. You’re looking at the Fountain of Huge.

Maybe that’s HUGE.

Take the Michael Flynn episode, or whatever that was. First, before the Trumpster et al. took office, he went all yakkity-yak with a Russian ambassador about U.S. sanctions. (Potentially a crime.) Then he lied about it. Then he resigned. Then, the next day, no, he was fired. (The Trumpster made a name for himself firing people on TV, which is his greatest claim to fame.) Then, the next day, the Trumpster told the media it was all their fault.

What? The news media talked to the Russian ambassador about U.S. sanctions? Then the New York Times and the Washington Post and CNN and MSNBC got together and fired Flynn?

(There’s a wealth of Trumpery here, “West Wing” writers.)

Then the Trumpster held a circus spectacle of a press conference, which basically turned into an hourlong harangue against the news media. If it weren’t for the news media, we wouldn’t have all this chaos and stumbling and wondering why the White House so strongly resembles a clown car.

Oh, the Trumpster also lauded his HUGE Electoral College victory. He keeps doing this (pay no attention to the popular vote behind the curtain). Unfortunately, Obama had a larger Electoral College victory, and the Trumpster’s numbers rank something like 45th in 56 presidential elections. Yeah, HUGE.

The Trumpster and his folks (using the word advisedly) are so paranoid they make Richard Nixon seem to have lived in a universe devoid of any paranoia. Even his famous paranoia disappears into dark matter. (Which, when you come to think about it, it did.)

But you have to admit, the Trumpster and the Trumpsterites have really put the “para” back into “noia.”

The Trumpster found some solace last weekend from the real world, not that he inhabits it, by holding a rally of supporters in Florida. There, he regaled them with lies and fabrications while they lapped it up like cute little puppies.

Well, maybe not so cute if you’re not white.

Could we go back to driverless cars? That world seems like a much safer place. Though it does lack a certain Ionesco tinge that we’ve grown used to in the last four weeks.

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