The independent newspaper of the University of Iowa community since 1868

The Daily Iowan

The independent newspaper of the University of Iowa community since 1868

The Daily Iowan

The independent newspaper of the University of Iowa community since 1868

The Daily Iowan

Dugan: Dodge a bullet, take the green pill

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By Jack Dugan

[email protected]

Reality is an uncertain, fickle thing. Trusting what we see to be actual, real, un-faltering existence is an act of blind faith. We all know this, we’ve all questioned this.

It takes guts to face the big questions: to unshackle your consciousness and gaze into the bright sun of truth, then take the red pill or the blue pill. Bank of America seems to be going through this same existential crisis or an excursion into philosophy of sorts.

According to a note sent out to clients earlier this month, the titan of investment banking believes there is a 20 percent to 50 percent chance we’re living in the matrix. According to Business Insider, the report reads, “Many scientists, philosophers and business leaders believe that there is a 20 percent to 50 percent probability that humans are already living in a computer-simulated world.”

Whether the note gave any cohesive advice on investment strategies in such a hypothetical digital façade is unclear, but I would imagine Bank of America is looking into the matter.

The financial institution went on to claim that “it is conceivable that with advancements in artificial intelligence, virtual reality, and computing power, members of future civilizations could have decided to run a simulation of their ancestors.”

Let me break this down for you: Bank of America believes that there is a 20 percent to 50 percent chance that we are living in the future, you and your surroundings are actually programmed representations of our long-passed ancestors, and reality is a digital construct. Wild stuff.

This speculation is absurd on numerous levels. But there is one question that arises from such lofty metaphysical dwellings: Why would humanity, at any point, choose to project a false digital environment of the past rather than live in their respective present environment?

The answer is a degree unsettling: total environmental destruction. Between industrial agriculture and an obscene addiction to fossil fuels, it seems plausible, if not rational, to prefer a digital environment to a rapidly depleting and deplorable natural environment.

Given Bank of America’s history of funding dirty fuel projects, it seems it is more than ready to embrace the digital dystopia, invoking a different type of green morality (read: money). 

The most recent of these investments being in the Dakota Access Pipeline, a controversial construction project that not only violates the civil rights of the Sioux Nation but also threatens the clean-water supply to millions of Americans. According to the Food and Water Watch, Bank of America is one of the 17 financial institutions that has loaned Dakota Access LLC $2.5 billion to build the Bakken Pipeline lamented by environmentalist from coast to coast. The report published on the Food and Water Watch website cites them as having an astonishing $350 million invested in the project.

The potential for drinking-water pollution and environmental destruction associated with reckless pipelines such as the Bakken are huge. The continued investment and perpetuation of projects such as these will, at some point, present us with a planet I would rather not live on.

I’d rather not have to take any pills, red or blue. But then again, there’s a 20 percent to 50 percent chance institutions such as Bank of America have already screwed that up for us. But, this means there is still a 80 percent to 50 percent chance we still have time to dodge this bullet.

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